Vampireville
(After the intro, we cut to the G-man at his desk in his room) G-man: Hello, everyone! I am the G-man, and that’s all you need to know about that. Today we’re talking about vampires! (Cut to a picture of an umpire) G-man (V.O): No! No! Vampire! (Creepy music starts as a slideshow of vampires begins to play) There we go! We often associate these creatures of the night with sleeping in coffins, sucking blood, hating garlic, and (Cut to the poster for the first Twilight movie) starring in horrible movies. (The slideshow continues) They’re evil, and extremely badass! Obviously, there are games about vampires, one of which being called (Cut to the title screen for…) Vampireville by Nevosoft. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: If the name "Nevosoft" rings a bell, that’s because they’re the same game company that made the Mushroom Age. And this game is also a hidden object game like it’s time-traveling counterpart. Well, let’s not delay any longer. This is Vampireville! (Cut to the first chapter) G-man (V.O): We start off with some guy named Michael speaking to his boss, Mr. Rockwell, about a place called Malgray Castle. Rockwell: It’s up for sale. We can pick up a great property for next to nothing. Michael: Didn’t you send Jim Johnson there lase week? He’s are leading expert in property acquisitions! Rockwell: Yes. Jim went up there, but it looks like he’s gone mad. (Cut to a zoom-in on a stock photo of a man in a straightjacket) He’s in a madhouse now and can hardly speak. Let alone write a report. (Cut back to the G-man laughing) G-man: Nice use of stock photography, Nevosoft! (He laughs some more) Please tell me this whole game is like that! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, Mr. Rockwell explains to Michael that he’s being sent up to Malgray Castle to finish what Jim started. After entering we meet… (Glenfield appears) Okay, who’s this? Glenfield: It’s Glenfield, sir. I’m the butler. Michael: Glenfield, I’ll need the floor plan of the castle. Glenfield: Unfortunately, sir, there’s a slight problem. Your colleague from Rockwell & Rockwell, who was here a week ago, tore it up. Michael: But why? Glenfield: I don’t know, sir. His behavior was quite peculiar. And now sir, let me bid you good night. G-man (V.O): Now that Glenfield is off to quote end-quote “Check his e-mail”, we can begin our first task: Finding the torn pieces of the floor plan and taping them together. After we complete it, we ask Glenfield where the guest room key is. Glenfield: I’m sorry sir, but your predecessor took the key with him. Michael: And how am I supposed to get in there? Glenfield: I believe there’s a spare key. G-man (V.O): Said key is in a jewelry box. After we complete a task where we line up the correct gears, we go up to the guest room where we meet the maid, Mary. Mary: I haven’t had a chance to tidy up the room. I couldn’t find the key. Michael: Nice to meet you Mary. I’m Michael. Mary: Oh, I heard you were coming. The fellow who was here before you didn’t even take his things. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Uh, why does Mary have headphones on? And what is the cord attached to at the end? Are we going to any answers? (The word "Nope" appears for a brief moment as the G-man groans) Figures… (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After we find all the hidden objects, we find a note from Jim. It illustrates Jim finding some creature in the bathroom, locking it, hiding the key, and nailing the hiding place shut. Michael: He must’ve really lost his mind. (The text "No shit" pops up for a brief moment) G-man (V.O): Anyway, after we complete a few more tasks, we unlock the bathroom door. But I’m sure that whatever’s in there is not THAT bad- (The ghost of a Saint Bernard growls at Michael. Cut back to the G-man screaming and falling out of his chair. After a while, he gets back up) G-man: Holy shit, it’s Cujo! He’s come back from the grave to haunt the critics who boycotted his movie! (Cut back to the game) ???: I’ll bite your head off for locking me in here!!! Cat got your tongue? Do you understand English? (Cut back to the G-man holding up a cross in front of him in fear) G-man: The power of Christ compels you, Old Yeller! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): We find out that this… THING is named Rover, and he has been haunting Malgray Castle for years. He tells us to go to the boiler room to get a fire going… For some reason. Michael: Wow! Now I see why Jim went bonkers. G-man: A-to-the-fucking-men! We get to the boiler room, and our next task is to fix a pipe. After we do, we ask Glenfield if the boiler room is operational. Glenfield: I don’t know sir. We haven’t turned on the heating in 50 years. (Cut back to the G-man spitting out water) G-man: What?! Why the fuck not? (Cut back to the game) Glenfield: No, sir. It’s just that uh… We don’t get cold. G-man (V.O): Survey says: (The word "BULLSHIT!" in all capital letters pops up for a brief moment as a buzzer sound is heard) Just as I thought. Anyway, Glenfield tells us that a postcard has arrived for us. After we complete a task where we rearrange the letters, it tells us to get out or else. And it’s from someone named… (Cut to the postcard) Black Macho? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Hey, I didn’t know Steve Harvey lived here! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After we ignite the boiler, Michael has these words of wisdom: Michael: Hurrah for warmth! G-man (V.O): Well said. In chapter 4, we head to the art gallery. Glenfield: This is the castle’s art gallery. Michael: Why are some of the pictures covered up? Glenfield: They’re extremely old and rare, sir. They have to be protected from light exposure. Besides, the mechanism for drawing the curtains is broken. Michael: I can see the cord is frayed and broken. Still, I’ve got to take a look at them. G-man: Our next task is to figure out how to draw the curtains back. To do this, we have to find a weight, fix a pully, and place the weight on the correct cord. After that, we’re able to reveal what’s been hidden. Michael: Looks fine to me. Glenfield, which paintings do you think are the most valuable? Glenfield: The castle owns collected paintings of animals. The family adored dogs in particular. The collection has 20 such paintings. Michael: Twenty? Where are they then? I can’t see them? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Well, if you open your eyes and ears, you’ll stop being a dumbass! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, after we find all 20 dog paintings, we get a visit from the ghost of Belvedere. Rover: Hi! Michael: Trying to scare me again? Rover: No. you’re not a coward. But you should know that there is someone in the castle you should be afraid of. Glenfield: And who might that be? Rover: Look closely at these paintings. G-man (V.O): After we play a game of match the cards and another hidden object scene, we find out that these two paintings are of Glenfield. Michael: My Lord! It’s the butler! (Cut back to the G-man with Tattletail on his desk) G-man: Ha! I knew the butler was suspicious! In the movies, he’s always the one who did it! Tattletail: Which movies were those? G-man: Hell, if I know! (Cut back to the game) Michael: But these paintings are at least a hundred years old! Rover: And this is just the beginning! Welcome to Malgray! I suggest you examine the storeroom. (He disappears) Michael: What’s happening? Hypnosis? Maybe it’s a practical joke? G-man: Lord, I wish it was. Anyway, after whatever Sam hell that was, we head to the storeroom in chapter five. Michael: No light. Good thing I have a torch. Just have to find the light switch! G-man (V.O): After we complete a task where we turn on the lights, we meet another character named Ellen. (Cut to a picture of Ellen from the Witch’s House) No, not that Ellen, but that was a good game. Ellen: What are you doing here? Are you here to buy Malgray? Michael: Do I look like a person who can afford to buy a castle? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Really? Did you seriously forget what your boss said at the beginning of the game? (Cut to earlier in the game) Rockwell: It’s up for sale. We can pick up a great property for next to nothing. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: I think we should start a petition for Michael to change his surname to "Forgetful"! (Cut back to the game) G-man: Anyway, Ellen tells us that she needs our help to find Rover’s dish. After we complete two more tasks where we find and clean it, we head over to the castle’s park where we meet Ellen again. Michael: What a gorgeous park! Ellen: Yes it is, but a bit morbid. Michael: I’m not disturbing you, am I? Ellen: Oh no! I’m just playing solitaire. Michael: Are you board? Ellen: Not exactly, these are not your average cards. According to legend, if you think of a special person while playing, and then win, that person will fall in love with you. Would you like to try? Michael: Why not? G-man (V.O): After a frustrating match the cards task, we meet Ellen’s dad, Brandon. Brandon: So, city boy, are you here to make paupers out of the lot of us? Ellen: Oh Daddy, don’t be like that… Brandon: I haven’t hurt a human in 200 years, but tonight might be just that kind of night… (Cut to a picture of the voice box in a McDonald’s drive thru) G-man (V.O): Yes, hi, I would like two McHoly Waters… (Cut back to the game) Anyway, our next task is to collect various vessels filled with blood. And after another task where we rearrange them, it’s revealed that Glenfield was the one who sent the threatening postcard. In chapter seven, Mary tells us that we’ve received a telegram. After a hidden object scene, we unscramble the sentences and its revealed that Mr. Rockwell is coming to the castle. Michael: Damn! The boss will be arriving soon. I must finish inspecting the castle before he arrives. (Glenfield appears) Glenfield, just the man I wanted to see. Glenfield: Yes sir. Michael: Oh by that way, how many vampires live in the castle? Glenfield: Vampires? I have no idea what you’re talking about, sir! Michael: No idea what I’m talking about? Stop pulling my leg. I’ve met Brandon, the groundsman. I helped Ellen prepare blood for his dinner, otherwise he would’ve eaten me. Glenfield: Brandon has his quirks, but he’s good at what he does. Michael: Quirks?! Drinking blood is your version of a quirk? And what of the paintings in the gallery? From the middle ages to today! Or are you fond of posing in historical costumes? Glenfield: The castle is full of portraits, sir. You must’ve made a mistake. If you have nothing further, I’ll go and check my e-mail. Michael: I’m not done, Glenfield. One more request, could you possibly be a bit more polite, even when you’re writing threatening letters to me. Glenfield: Sir, Malgray is not exactly a usual place. I must admit, you’ve got nerves of steel. By this time your predecessor had a nervous breakdown and left the castle. Still, I think you need to calm down a bit and have a rest. (Cut back to the McDonald’s voice box) G-man (V.O): And can you make that four? (Cut back to the game) Anyway, we go to the basement, and after two more tasks where we turn on the lights and unscramble a picture, strange symbols appear on the walls. (Mary appears) Mary: So, found anything? Michael: Mary, what are these symbols on the walls? What do they mean? Mary: It’s just the code to open the cupboard that contains the master’s books. Michael: Why go through all this trouble. Mary (Dubbed by the G-man): Because damnit, we need good excuse to draw things out a little longer. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man (Shrugging): Meh! Seems like a good excuse! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After we collect all the strange symbols and open the cupboard, we find out just what’s going on here. Michael: It worked! Ok, let’s see… Glenfield’s been on the payroll since 1645, Brandon since 1904… And Mary since 1872! Mary, you’re one of them?! Mary: Yes, I’m a vampire, so what? Or did you think that only men can be vampires? Michael: No, it’s just so unexpected. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: I know, right? You’re in a castle filled with vampires that could possibly kill you, a ghost dog that’s warning you to get out while you still can, and now you’re being framed for being sexist! That’s a tough life if you ask me! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, we get to the attic where we meet Rover again. Rover: Thanks for finding my dish, I used to eat out of it 200 years ago, when I was a mere pup. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Question; was he always able to talk, or does that happen with all animals when they die? (Cut back to the game) Rover: I have one more favor to ask. I’m a ghost and can’t move objects. There are too many visitors in the castle now, so I’d like to hide my valuables. Michael: And you trust me with that? Rover: You look honest. Michael: And how much money are we talking about? Rover: Just my earnings for the past couple of centuries. You didn’t think I was guarding the castle for free, did you? The money’s here. It’s hidden in different jars. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: That’s still a little vague. I mean, were you so rich that you shit gold bars while you were still alive, or what? (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): So, we collect all the money, put them in jewelry boxes, and head into the cellar to store them away. After we complete two more tasks in which we do so, we get locked in. Rover: Oh no. Nothing good will come of that. (The text "No shit!" pops up for brief moment) Wait for me here and don’t go anywhere. I’ll go and find Glenfield, he’ll open the door! (Rover vanishes) Michael: Hey wait a minute! It’s too bad I’m not a ghost. (The ghost of a woman appears) ???: It’s never too late to become a ghost, Michael. Michael: Oh my God! ???: Oh don’t be afraid. I’m the mistress of this castle. We’ve been watching you. You’re resourceful and clever. But it’s not yet clear if you have a kind heart. And that’s the most important thing, Michael. Malgray can’t stand those with evil hearts. Just remember that… (The Duchess vanishes. Cut back to the G-man) G-man: …Well that just happened! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): So, we escape the room, and we meet up with Mr. Rockwell in chapter eleven. Michael: How was your trip, Mr. Rockwell? Rockwell: Awful. Have you been making any progress here? Michael: It’s not so easy with this castle. Rockwell: And what’s the matter? Michael: It’s the inhabitants of this castle. They’re sort of… Not exactly alive. Rockwell: Well, what are you talking about? Vampires? Michael: You knew that? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Um… How the hell does he know that there are vampires in the castle? (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, Mr. Rockwell tells us that he only has two weeks to live, so he wants to become a vampire to counter his illness. Ellen informs us that there’s a library in the castle, and that she was about to take some books there. So, how many books are we talking about? (The "Dun, dun, dun!" music plays as the camera zooms in on the number twenty-five. Cut back to the G-man spitting out water) G-man: What?! Twenty-fucking-five?! Is Ellen a speed-reader or something? I mean, Jesus! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): One of the illustrations falls out of one of the books. But when we learn who wrote it… Ellen: It’s an 18th century book by Dr. Alucard. (The hashtag "#Clever" pops up for a brief moment) G-man (V.O): Anyway, we learn that the Duke and Duchess has been killed by thugs along with Rover, and they wont rest until an heir is found. When we get an encyclopedia about vampires, it’s revealed that vampires can’t get diseases. (The Duke appears) Duke: Of course not. Why would there be an article about something that doesn’t exist? (Cut back to the G-man laughing) G-man: Why does the Duke have the same voice as Mr. Rockwell? Were they out of male voice actors so they had to reuse one? Come on, even Homer Simpson could do a better job than you! Although all of his lines would consist of: (Cut back to the game. The Duke’s lines are replaced by Homer from the Simpsons saying “D’oh!” a bunch of times. Cut back to the original audio) Michael: Hello. Are you the master of the castle? Duke: Yes indeed. Everyone’s talking about you. So I’ve come to meet you in person. Michael: Duke Malgray! It’s my pleasure to make your acquaintance. You said that vampires never get sick. Is that true? Duke: That’s true. Sometimes they might come down with a mild cold or a runny nose, but nothing serious. You can see for yourself. The medical records of all the inhabitants of the castle are stored in that chest over there. G-man (V.O): After a follow-the-beet task, we open the chest and find out that no one has been sick since the 18th century. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: The only bad thing about that is that no one would have to take a sick day off. (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): We also learn that it’s possible to cure a person with a bite. In chapter thirteen, we gather our things by playing a hidden object scene, and then we let our boss know what’s going down. Rockwell: Excellent! I thought so! I’ve been checking out our butler and I think he’s the man we need. Michael: Yes, Glenfield is most positively a vampire. Rockwell: He’ll be bringing in my luggage in a minute. Try to convince him to help. Explain the situation. You’re the expert. Michael: I’ll try. G-man (V.O): After another task in which we pack our things, we ask Glenfield if he can bite our boss. (A few moments pass before the G-man speaks again) Wow, I can’t wait for the day I get to tell my boss that he’s about to become a vampire! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: And I’m self-employed, so that’s going to be a really weird conversation. (Cut back to the game) Glenfield: It’s not so easy to turn a human into a vampire. Let me tell you a secret, Mr. Christensen. For the bitten to become a vampire he has to have the same blood type as the vampire who bit him. Michael: And what happens if the blood types are different? Glenfield: Then the victim dies of either blood contamination or blood loss. G-man (V.O sarcastically): Well that’s a happy thought! (In normal tone) Anyway, a nurse named Laura comes to the castle to determine Mr. Rockwell’s blood type, along with everyone else. After we complete a task in which we put everything into the right place, we learn that Mr. Rockwell’s blood type is AB. Ellen: Hi. How are you? How’s your boss? Michael: Fine, but my assignment’s changed a bit. You won’t believe it, but I have to get blood samples from everyone in the castle. Your father, for one. Ellen: And why would you need that? Michael: You see… My boss has decided to become a vampire so he doesn’t die. So I need to find a vampire who has AB blood. Ellen: I’ll help you, but first you have to win a game of magic solitaire. G-man (V.O): After another frustrating match-the-cards task, we find out the Ellen’s blood type is O. Michael: What’s so weird about it? Laura: It looks like the blood of a corpse. Michael: Are you serious? You must be mistaken. (Cut back to the G-man crossing his arms) G-man: How would she know what corpse blood looks like? Lock her up, boys! (The iron bars texture from Minecraft overlaps Laura. Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, we go down into the basement again where we find Mary. Michael: Mary, could you do me a huge favour? Mary: Everyone needs a favour and I’ve got only two hands! You’ll have to wait your turn. First I need to gather all this stuff for Glenfield. Michael: What stuff? Mary: There are too many guests in the castle now. Glenfield told me to get all the silverware we have. G-man (V.O): After we collect all the silverware, put them in boxes, and find some wine, this is the point where the game just gets on my nerves: Michael: Oh yes? So you’ll help me. Mary: I have type A. Michael: Then you can’t. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: First of all, how does she know her own blood type? We never asked her, we never mentioned anything about our boss, so how does she know? Second, we did all that stuff for her for nothing?! Screw you, Mary! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): In chapter sixteen, we head out back to the park where we meet Ellen again. Michael: Ellen, is your father home? Ellen: You want to find out his blood type, don’t you? Michael: Yes. I’m looking for AB. Ellen: Dad is going to play golf soon. Golf is his only weakness. Aside from the job, of course. If you want to get on his good side, golf is your way in. G-man (V.O): Hey, I’m just surprised he doesn’t keep saying “Golf is Love, Golf is Life.”. After we complete some golf-related tasks, we meet a not-so-happy Brandon. Brandon: What the hell is this city boy doing in out yard?! Michael: Hello, sir! I was just helping Ellen put some golf equipment away. Brandon: Get the hell out of here! Michael: Sir, I have a business proposition for you. Brandon: One more word and you’re dead! Michael: Just hear me out! Brandon: That’s it, I’ve heard enough! (Cut back to the G-man drawing his Lego Gin and the Rift Blade) G-man: You’d better back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): So, we get knocked out by Brandon… (Cut back to the G-man briefly) Why does that sound familiar…? (Cut back to the game) And we somehow end up back in the attic. Michael: Where am I? I’ve got a splitting headache… I’ve got to concentrate. G-man (V.O): After we play game of Spot the Difference, we get another visit from Glenfield. Glenfield: At last I found you! Michael: Brandon almost killed me. Glenfield: Yes, Brandon’s out of control. Now he’s threatening that girl, the nurse. We’re at our wit’s end. Michael: Is there any way to calm him down? Glenfield: There is one thing he hates. He was bitten by a yellow spider when he was a child. Since then, he can’t stand the sight of yellow spiders. (Cut back to the G-man laughing) G-man: Wow, he beats up people for a living, but he’s afraid of spiders? (He laughs some more) This is the best damn weakness ever! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, we catch a few spiders and we head down to the boiler room where we find Laura tied up. After we complete a hidden object scene, we free her. Michael: Brandon will be here soon. We should get ready for him. Laura: How? Michael: He was bitten by a yellow spider when he was a child. Let’s see what he does when he sees two huge yellow spiders! G-man (V.O): After we paint the spiders yellow and place them in designated spots, Brandon sees them and faints so we can check his blood type. Michael: It’s type B, we have to keep looking. G-man (V.O): In chapter nineteen, we ask Laura about the letter we found earlier, and she translates it for us. Laura: "Dear Duke! Twenty years ago a baby in a basket was left at your doorstep. The baby is your nephew. He is your sister Mary’s illegitimate son. I couldn’t tell you the truth then. But now that the baby’s all grown up, I wanted to clear my conscience. Bridget, Mary’s friend. April 3rd, 1905." Michael: It must be in reference to the heir everyone’s expecting… Earlier I noticed a few scrolls with the Malgray family tree! They must still be somewhere here in the library! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Um, when did he find those scrolls? Did we miss something? (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): When we find the scrolls and organize them, we learn that the Brandon doesn’t have any ancestors. (The Duke appears) Duke: So young man, searching through old books again, are we? Michael: Duke! So glad to see you. What can you tell me about the groundsman? Why aren’t there any records about his ancestors? Duke: That’s because nobody knows anything about them. (The Duchess appears) Duchess: He was left on our doorstep when he was a baby. The note in the basket only informed us that his name is Brandon. Duke: It happened in …mmm… 1886. I remember this very well because it happened just after my sister’s tragic death. Michael: Was your sister’s name Mary? Dyke: Yes. Michael: My dear Duke and Duchess, I believe I know the name f you heir. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Well, now! Shit’s thickening! (Cut back to the game) Glenfield: It turns out that nurse Laura is a dear friend of mine. Who would’ve thought that this lovely young lady goes by the name "Red Devil" on the Internet?! Michael: Well, I guess still waters run deep. G-man (V.O): After we find a jewelry box and another follow-the-beet task, we earn that Glenfield’s blood type is AB. Just the one we were looking for. We gather everyone to the parlor in chapter twenty to tell them the big news. Michael: Thank you for gathering here. Let’s get down to business. I’m offering you a deal. I’ll tell you the name of the Malgray heir. Then this castle will remain untouched. In return, you’ll "inoculate" my boss against all diseases. Agreed? Duke: First you have to tell us the name of the heir. Duchess: Biting your boss is easy. Michael: Brandon is your heir! Duke: Brandon!? Can you prove it? Michael: Yes. I accidentally found this letter in the boiler room in a stack of waste paper used to light the furnace. It discusses the appearance of a baby in this castle over a hundred years ago. That baby is groundsman Brandon! Though illegitimate, he is your sister Mary’s son, sir. Meaning he is all Malgray, flesh and blood. Duke: Then why didn’t we know about this letter? Michael: That I don’t know. But I’ve not finished yet. A photograph was attached to the letter. It’s a photo of Mary, a baby and some gentleman. Do you have pictures of Brandon as a baby? We can compare them, and you’ll see that it’s the same child! (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Whoa, whoa, whoa, time out! When did this photograph make an appearance? It was never even mentioned when we first got the letter, so did the creators just throw it in at the last second? (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After we complete a hidden object scene, it appears that the babies in both pictures are almost the same. Duke: But all children look alike. We can’t risk making a mistake. Michael: If we had your blood sample, we could analyze the DNA just to be sure. Duke: Unfortunately, there is no blood sample in the castle. And getting it from me in my condition is quite impossible. Duchess: Could we use hair instead of blood? Somewhere in the parlor there must be a locket with a lock of the Duke’s hair. Michael: That should work! G-man (V.O): After we complete a task where we analyze the Duke’s and Brandon’s DNA, we learn that, big shocker, they’re the same! Michael: Science has proved me right! (Cut to Dr. Insano) Insano: Yes! Score yet another point for science! (Cut back to the G-man looking confused) G-man: Wait, didn’t I-? Never mind… (Cut back to the game) Duke: Michael, it looks like you succeeded where we failed for a hundred years. I don’t know how to express my gratitude. Duchess: From this day forward, you shall always be a welcome guest here in the castle. Michael: Glad to be of help. Duke: We’ll keep our end of the bargain. You van tell Mr. Rockwell that we’ll "cure" him. Glenfield will take care of it. G-man (V.O): After they disappear, Rover appears one more time to ask for our help in chapter… (Cut to a vine) Kid: Twenty-one. (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Rover decides to write a will before he leaves with the Duke and Duchess. After we complete some tasks where we collect the drafts and place the lines of text in the correct order, we learn that we get Rover’s savings. Michael: Thank you, Rover! I wasn’t expecting this. Rover: Don’t mention it. What will I need this money for? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Lots! Ever heard of Ghost Credit? Casper got himself a Subaru! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): After we get Rover’s savings out from the shelf, we go back to the parlor to check on the boss. (A loud alarm sound is heard) Damnit! Who let Caillou’s robot in?! Michael: Glenfield, what’s the matter? Is there a fire? Glenfield: Looks like the burglar alarm went off. Michael: Are we being robbed? Glenfield: I doubt it. Burglars stay away from the castle. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Well, it looks like there’s only one possible explanation: (He quickly leans in towards the camera) Jehovah’s Witness! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, we find the security system’s control panel and deactivate it. Glenfield: Well done, sir! Michael: It’s time to deal with Mr. Rockwell. Will it be difficult? Glenfield: Not really. Let’s go to the art gallery. (Cut to chapter twenty-three) Michael: Gentlemen! We must quickly cure Mr. Rockwell. Go ahead, Glenfield. Glenfield: For the conversion ritual we’ll need the claw of a bat, candles and a tea spoon. (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Wait, didn’t we already establish that all this guy needs to do is bite him? Where did all this ritual bullshit come from?! (Cut back to the game) G-man (V.O): Anyway, after we rearrange some candles and catch a bat, the ritual can begin! Glenfield: Excellent, gentlemen! I can see you’re ready. (Cut) Mr. Rockwell, here’s a teaspoon with my blood. Now cut your arm with the bat’s claw… Squeeze out a couple of drops of your blood into the spoon. Warm the blood with a candle. Rockwell: And now? Glenfield: Now slowly poor the blood onto the cut while chanting "Vampire blood of the right type cuts down on the number of corpses". (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: Is all of this because Nevosoft couldn’t get the budget to animate someone biting someone else? (Cut back to the game) G-man: So, Mr. Rockwell becomes a vampire, we complete one more frustrating card task, we learn the epilogues of all of the characters, and that’s it! We’ve beaten Vampireville! But what does little old me think of it? (Cut back to the G-man) G-man: I thought this game was just as good as the Mushroom Age! Sure, it was tedious at times, but overall, it was so much fun to play again and again! Well, I am the G-man, and that’s all you need to know about that! Peace! Category:Episode